Your First Therapy Appointment: A Gentle Guide to Getting Started
Why Therapy?
The value of seeking support
Here’s the thing — sometimes life is just hard. Things are constantly happening outside of your control, society continues to pressure you to move forward at a pace not structured for rest and glorifying the “hustle,” meanwhile you’re just trying to keep your head above water. Everyone struggles in their own way, whether they admit to themselves (or others) or not. Sometimes support can make all the difference.
You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit
A common misconception with therapy is that you have to be in crisis to benefit from it — and that couldn’t be farther from the case. A responsible car owner takes their vehicle for regular servicing, just to make sure everything is in working order -— not just when the transmission goes out, leaving it unable to drive.
Step 1: Decide to Take the First Step
Acknowledge your readiness for support
Sometimes, the first step is the hardest step: acknowledging with yourself that you are ready to receive the benefits of professional support. Maybe you have some internalized stigmas nagging at the back of your brain, maybe you don’t want to admit you could use a boost, or maybe you’ve heard stories of it not going so well for your coworker’s sister’s neighbor in the past. Whatever holds you back from reaching from the help you feel you might need (after all, would you be reading this if you didn’t?), we hope you know that your hesitations are valid within yourself and should in no way be overlooked.
Talk to a trusted friend if you're struggling
Talking to a trusted friend can make all the difference. A little bit of support and encouragement can go a long way, especially when it comes to acknowledging that you may need an extra boost. Taking the step to confide your thoughts and feelings about therapy with a trusted friend has the potential to bolster your own resolve in making sure you get the help you think you might need.
Step 2: Look Into Logistics
How to find out if your plan covers therapy
In many cases, there is a mental healthcare aspect to one’s insurance coverage. Whether it be full coverage, partial, or even discounted, it’s worth looking into if you know you have a solid health insurance plan.
Options if you're uninsured or underinsured
If you find your insurance plan does not offer coverage for mental health services, or perhaps you are uninsured, you should know that you still have options. Some mental health professionals offer sliding scale rates based on income as well as payment plans to best work with your budget.
Scheduling Your First Appointment
How to search for a therapist
Searching for a therapist for the first time can seem like a daunting task. Writing in “therapists near me” in the search bar of your go-to browser might yield more results than you’re looking for, or perhaps not enough, depending on where you are. If you know that you are looking to talk about something specific with a therapist, don’t be afraid to get as specific in your search as well. Sometimes typing just a little more, such as “therapist near me anxiety and depression” can yield much more specific results to those who specialize in those topics.
Tips for making the call or booking online
When making the first call to book your appointment, trust this: if you are calling the right place, they will offer you compassion, understanding, and grace, even if you’re fumbling over your words or a little nervous. Finding a therapist that offers online booking may be a great option if you find that picking up the phone to dial a number is just a bit too difficult — and that’s completely okay. Rest assured, that’s exactly why these options exist.
What to expect when scheduling
When scheduling your first appointment, it might help to be prepared not only with dates that you are available to meet for a session, but also with a short, rehearsed reason of why you are seeking out therapy in the first place. This is not a prerequisite, and the right kind of therapist will meet you exactly where you are — even if you’re not sure yourself of just where that is.
Step 3: Prepare for Your First Session
Understanding Common Therapy Techniques
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely used, supported by research approaches in the mental healthcare field — and for good reason. Practical, present-focused, it can help you recognize and understand patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that may be contributing to anxiety, depression, or stress. By learning how to reframe unhelpful, or even harmful, thoughts and building healthier ones, CBT can provide meaningful relief early on in the therapy process, making it a great starting point for many to consider.
However, just as you are unique, your therapy journey can reflect that as well. You may also hear about other types of therapy, such as ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), EMDR (used for trauma), IFS (Internal Family Systems), Somatic Therapy, or Narrative Therapy. Each has its own particular approach, strengths, and goals. It isn’t uncommon for therapists to draw from a blend of techniques to create a personalized experience that fits your needs and goals.
Bring a Notebook
There is a lot of power in writing down your thoughts, both before a session and after. Oftentimes when we begin to write it all down, more thoughts and feelings come to the surface along with it.
Note-taking during sessions: yes or no?
If that’s something you want to do, then yes! Absolutely you can. Keep in mind, most therapists will also be more than happy to send you session notes afterwards as well if you’d like reminders of what was discussed — so no need to feel pressured to get everything down yourself.
Keep an Open Mind
You don’t have to commit to the first therapist you meet
A common misconception with therapy is that all therapists are the same — and that is far from the case. If you meet with one and don’t quite feel like it’s a good match, or you feel reservations for any reason, don’t be afraid to shop around until you find one that fits just right. Trust me, finding the right therapist can make all the difference on your journey of finding the support you need.
How to know if it's a good fit
People are all unique in their own right, and so are therapists’ approaches within their practice. If you need more gentle guidance, there is a therapist out there who will do just that for you; and if you need one who can cut to the chase and challenge you, there’s one out there like that for you, too. You get to decide what you need, and you are allowed to change your mind as many times as needed until it feels right.
Set a Schedule That Supports You
Depending on your needs, you may find that a weekly schedule works best for you, even if just for a little while until you find your groove. Going too long between sessions risks losing a certain momentum (but not always, of course — you get to decide what you need). If you are seeking more maintenance work or simply just a safe space you go to once a month to feel continued support, the right therapist will work out a schedule that works best for you.
Much of healing happens outside of therapy sessions, so it is encouraged that you have an open mind to any “homework” that a therapist may give you. This could look like journaling, changing up an aspect of your routine, or seeking to prioritize more rest.
Final Thoughts: Progress Over Perfection
You’re allowed to take your time
Healing is not linear. You are more than allowed to take your time in figuring out what you need and how you need it. There are no set rules to therapy that you must follow; on the contrary, you truly do get to decide what works best for you, even if that involves making the leap in scheduling the first appointment, attending it, and then deciding that you need some time to process before going again. Whatever you need to do, you should know that it’s okay to do so.
Every step toward healing is worth celebrating
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is acknowledge the little wins. Every step towards healing is worth celebrating, no matter what it looks like. Maybe it’s an improved night's sleep, three consistent, healthy meals eaten in one day, or time off your social media scrolling. Celebrating the little wins with yourself can make all the difference down the road.