Is Your Brain Lying to You? 6 Common Cognitive Distortions Explained
Let’s face it - some days, our brains can be a scary place. Jumbled thoughts that can’t seem to find footing, conflicting feelings that make no sense, and overwhelm that leads to anxiety manifesting in your body in physical ways.
While not overly definitive (your mind is yours, after all, and this is not a “one size fits all” approach), one of the focuses of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is teaching one how to not only recognize, but also to both categorize and redirect unhealthy thought patterns. These unhealthy thoughts that may be plaguing you are called cognitive distortions.
To help you understand more what that term means and what it may look like in your own life, here are 6 common cognitive distortions with brief explanations and examples. You may find yourself surprised to recognize more than a few of them, as to struggle with unhealthy thought patterns sometimes is most often just to be human. You are far from alone.
Recognizing the ones that resonate most with you and the areas in which you are struggling is the first step to becoming mindful of a more meaningful way forward in your mental health. Not only will it give you a greater understanding of yourself, but also of others and the world around you as a whole.
Common Cognitive Distortions and What They Can Look Like
Mindreading
Do you ever find yourself caught up in your own thoughts about what someone else might be thinking? Your own actions and decisions are informed by what you believe to be true about what the other person is thinking, even though you have no proof yourself. This is an example of mindreading, and it can lead to unfortunate outcomes, for you and the other person, that can be unnecessary and avoided if recognized early.
So instead of guessing what someone is thinking about you, remember that you have no proof that any unkind thoughts are actually being had on the other end. The curt tone in which they answered your question just may not have anything to do with you at all, and may not mean that they are mad at you like your brain wants you to believe.
2. Catastrophizing
Worst case scenarios can be the norm for some people. If their brains can assume the worst before it happens, then some semblance of a sense of control can be gained - or so that’s what your brain leads you to believe.
So the next time your daughter doesn’t answer you the first time you call, instead of jumping to the worst conclusion of she’s kidnapped, she’s in a ditch, or she’s met a suave Spaniard who has convinced her to marry him and is currently in customs for a last minute wedding you’re not invited to, try to remind yourself to relax. Take a deep breath; perhaps she just didn’t hear her phone ring, is in the middle of something else, is driving and wants to be responsible, or a number of other reasonable explanations that do not involve physical harm or premature nuptials at all.
3. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Either/or, not both/and in this frame of mind. There is only one way, no compromise in sight, and your brain is loud about confirming this is precisely how it should be. Also referred to as “black and white thinking” or “polarized thinking”, this all-or-nothing mentality can take its toll when only extremes are allowed, leaving no room for middle ground.
If you don’t get an A on your exam, then obviously you’re a total failure. You had one argument with your girlfriend, then obviously your relationship is without hope and doomed. You ate one donut, then obviously your entire diet is shot now.
CBT helps you recognize this cognitive distortion and offers you the tools to reframe these thoughts. If you didn’t get an A on your exam, that doesn’t make you a bad student - it makes you one who is trying their best. One argument with your girlfriend doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed - it just means there’s an opportunity for communication and growth. One donut doesn’t ruin the whole diet - it makes you a human who is allowed to enjoy a sweet treat once in a while, while still maintaining an overall commitment to your health.
4. Overgeneralizing
Overgeneralization is allowing one singular event to draw broader, and most often negative, conclusions, even if these are things that aren’t connected at all. Much of the time, this cognitive distortion includes words like:
Never
Always
Everyone
No one
Everything
Nothing
One bad thing happens, so the whole day is ruined. One flat tire means you are just someone with bad luck. One job application rejection means that you will never get hired anywhere. Making one mistake means that you must be a bad person.
Instead, CBT helps you flip these negative thoughts around into something more positive. One bad thing happened, but there’s still a whole day ahead with potential for good things to happen, too. One flat tire is just that - bad luck in one circumstance, not about your whole life. One rejection letter means that one job was not right for you, but the right job is out there for you. One mistake makes you human, and recognizing your mistake makes you the kind of human who is trying their best (and their best is enough).
5. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve Thinking
No, I’m not about to launch into why this is one of Taylor Swift’s best songs lyrically. “Should” statements pop up in people’s minds all the time - I should have done this, I could have done that - as our way of processing through what would have had to have happened differently for a more desirable outcome. But here’s the thing - we could do this until the cows come home, but it doesn’t affect the reality of our present, does it?
If our focus is caught in the loop of would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, then our energy is drained and far from being actually productive. Instead, focus on the here and now and what is within your reach to make healthier, proactive, and more informed decisions moving forward. You can’t change the past; but the future is still in your hands.
6. Blaming
This one can go one of two ways - blaming yourself, or blaming others. But again, playing the blame game doesn’t change what happened or what is real right now, does it?
We all want to just make it all make sense - you are understood in that. However, have you ever considered where the blame really lies?
Say that your partner reacted in anger when you got that flat tire we mentioned before, and they verbally lashed out at you. On one hand, you could find yourself blaming yourself for getting a flat tire and causing that angry reaction in them. On the other hand, you could blame their angry reaction on them not being able to handle their own big emotions. But then consider that their parents raised them without the tools to handle their own big emotions, and their parents did the same before then, and back, and back, and back.
The root of blame can be a messy, unclear thing. CBT helps you learn to understand that we are all responsible for our own thoughts, actions, and decisions, and that no amount of blame - on yourself or others - can change the reality of what happened. Only you hold the power to channel your own healthier thinking patterns into better outcomes. You cannot control what other people think or do, but you can decide what you choose to do.
Healing Begins With Awareness and Support
As you can see, cognitive distortions are not always cut and dry. Most often, they are intertwined with each other in ways that are difficult to see when you are so deep in them yourself. A trained therapist in CBT has the tools and means to help you make it all make a bit more sense than it did before, giving you a better chance of choosing healthier ways of moving forward - both for you and for everyone else around you.
Sometimes all it takes is one step to set your life on a whole new path. If you find yourself wanting to learn more about how to recognize unhealthy and potentially harmful thinking patterns within yourself, we’re here to help. Feel free to fill out the contact form and one of our licensed therapists will reach out to you.